Week 4: Failure

SESSION GOALS
The point of every session is a main idea with the goal of informing our knowing, feeling, and doing.

MAIN IDEA: Because of Jesus, failure will never have the final word over your life.

Head Change: To know that you will fail, but that failure is an event, not a person.

Heart Change: To feel grateful that God doesn’t just forgive you when you fail Him, He also uses you.

Life Change: To fail forward, following Jesus no matter how much you’ve messed up.

OPEN
Have you failed this week – at work, at home, at church, at sport, or elsewhere? If you’re ok to talk about it, share the epic failure of your life so far.

We all fail – often and ongoingly. Failure this side of eternity is unavoidable. But there’s hope! We can learn to fail successfully as we humbly acknowledge that failure doesn’t define us, because Jesus does.

VIEW
As you watch, write down how Anthony answers these questions.

• What did James say about failure?
• What were some of Peter’s successes? And his failures?
• How did God use Peter despite his failures?

Show SESSION #4: Failure (10 minutes)

REVIEW
Anthony opens the session with a reminder that while we’re likely to experience success, failure is inevitable. Do you agree with Anthony that we idolise success? Have you recently tracked the successes or failures of a particular sports team, politician, or other celebrity? If so, what did you learn?

James, a New Testament writer and the brother of Jesus, tells us, ‘We all stumble in many ways’ (James 3:2). He’s literally saying, ‘All of us often make mistakes.’ We trip up – a lot. Is there an area of your life in which you’ve experienced repeated failure? If so, why?

It’s important that we learn to fail successfully: to move from saying, ‘I am a failure,’ to the healthier and more correct statement, ‘I have failed.’ Which person in your life needs to hear the truth that failure is an event, not a person? Have you defined yourself more by your successes or your failures? Why?

Anthony references several events from the life of the apostle Simon Peter – the rock upon whom Jesus would build His church – to illustrate a lifestyle pattern of thumbs-up success immediately followed by thumbs-down failure. Can you relate? If so, list some of your thumbs-up triumphs and some of your thumbs-down disasters. For each of these, what did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about God?

Peter’s most famous failure is his denial – three times – that he even knew the arrested Jesus. He lies to save his life, and Jesus willingly gives up His. But Anthony reminds us that, thankfully, because of Jesus, failure is never final. The cross was not the end of Jesus’ story, or Peter’s. Why do you think Jesus, resurrected, wanted to meet with Peter?

John 21 tells us about the morning when Peter, nursing the guilt of his failure, goes back to what he used to be pretty good at: fishing. A mysterious stranger appears on the shore telling Peter how to have another net-bursting catch. Peter recognises Jesus and obeys. What do you think Peter was thinking and feeling in those moments? What would you have been thinking and feeling? Have you ever believed your failure to be unforgivable? Have you ever believed that God thinks less of you now than he used to because of your failure?

Peter and Jesus go for a walk on the beach, and Peter begins to understand that his failure was never going to have the last word. Peter was standing near a fire when he denied Jesus three times. Now, there’s a moment loaded with poetic intention when, standing by another fire, Jesus asks Peter three times, not ‘How did you do?’, but rather, ‘Do you love me?’ Two out of three times, Jesus uses the Greek verb agape for love (the unconditional, self-sacrificing love of God). Peter always replies using the verb phileo for love (brotherly affection or the fondness of friendship). Discuss the significance of this. Did Peter grasp God’s love for him? Do you? Would you have identified Peter as being mature enough to spearhead the global church? Why, or why not? Why do you think Jesus chose him?

Peter doesn’t even get full marks on this ‘love test’, but Jesus still gives him a fresh start and new responsibilities. Jesus doesn’t just forgive Peter; He uses him. How has God used you despite your failures – or maybe even because of your failures?

Peter’s conversation with Jesus ends with him comparing himself to John and asking Jesus, ‘What about him?’ Jesus effectively replies with a question of His own, saying, ‘What’s he got to do with you?’ Jesus then comes full circle: His last words to Peter – and His last recorded words in John’s gospel – are the first words He said to Peter: ‘Follow Me’ (John 21:21–22). Do you compare your failures and successes to others’? Do you struggle to reconcile how God works in your life compared to how He works in someone else’s life? If so, how do you think it might help if you simply followed Him?

BIBLE EXPLORATION
Read Psalm 73:26 and Psalm 145:14. According to the psalmist, who will definitely fail? Who will definitely never fail? What is God’s promise to you when you fail?

Solomon also had a lot to say about failure. Read Proverbs 24:16 and Proverbs 28:13. What’s different about the way the righteous fail, compared to the way the wicked fail? What happens when we hide our failures? What happens when we own our failures? Which do you tend to do? Why?

Read 2 Corinthians 1:3–4. What does God want you to do with the comfort you’ve received from Him in times of failure or suffering?

Paul goes on to say, in 2 Corinthians 12:9–10, ‘But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ Why did Paul need God’s all-sufficient grace? (Take a look at the preceding verses.) Share about a time when your failure magnified God’s greatness and power in your life.

LAST WORD
Before moving on to the next session, remind yourself that mercy meets you at your point of failure. It’s there that the greatest lessons are learned, and the deepest transformation of your character takes place. When you take responsibility for your failure, God will use it for His glory and to bless others. Your mess can become your message. No matter how many times you fail or how badly you feel you’ve blown it, Jesus comes looking to restore you, not to reprimand you. He wants to save you, not to scold you. Just follow Jesus. And when you fail? Continue to follow Jesus, because you’re forgiven.

DEEPER WALK
Select at least one activity below to complete before watching the next session.

Read: Meditate on Philippians 4:13. You can do all things through Jesus who strengthens you. What is God saying to you about your failures? What would change in your life, over the next week or month, if you relied completely on God’s strength?

Write: If you’re cringing or carrying a lot of guilt because of recent – or long past – failure, write out the details: exactly where and how and why you messed up, and who was affected. Then you may wish to burn the paper you’ve written this on, to help you let go and as a symbol that God doesn’t count your failures against you.

Pray: Ask God to bring to mind a loved one who is struggling with failure. Call them and pray for them over the phone. Don’t be awkward. Just be real. Ask God to comfort and encourage them, and to set them free from guilt and regret.