Week 6: Father

SESSION GOALS
The point of every session is a main idea with the goal of informing our knowing, feeling, and doing.

MAIN IDEA: You’ll be the man you were made to be when you realise how perfectly you’re loved by your Heavenly Father.

Head Change: To know that the man who fathered you affects your view of yourself, others, and God.

Heart Change: To celebrate that whether your earthly dad was awesome, absent, or awful, you are adopted by God the Father.

Life Change: To make it your mission to understand and embrace the measureless love God the Father has lavished on you.

OPEN
Whether it’s easy or difficult for you to talk about your dad, describe him using three adjectives. Don’t overthink it.

My dad is / was __________, __________, and __________.

If you have kids of your own, what three adjectives would you love them to use to describe you?

In the final session of the series, Anthony explores the truth that your understanding of God the Father and your acceptance of His love for you will ultimately determine whether or not you become the man you were made to be.

VIEW
As you watch, write down how Anthony answers these questions.

• According to Anthony’s Facebook experiment, were men or women more positive about their fathers?
• What makes it possible for us to comply with God’s command to love Him?
• Why does God watch you while you sleep?
• How does George MacDonald define adoption?

Show SESSION #6: Father (13 minutes)

REVIEW
Anthony stresses the point that your map for manhood is or has been determined by your father. He says, ‘Dead or alive, known or unknown, present or absent, good or bad, the man who fathered you follows you through life. He colours your view of yourself, your attitude to older men, and – crucially – to God.’ Do you agree? Why, or why not? Does this idea comfort you or unsettle you? Do you (or did you) trust your dad? Either way, has this affected how you form and maintain other friendships and relationships?

Humans have a visceral need for love and approval, and if that need wasn’t met by your earthly father, it’s likely you’ve looked for love and approval from fatherly substitutes. Alternatively, you’ve lived in denial, shutting down that part of yourself and hiding your heart wounds. Does this idea resonate with you? Has a memory – good or bad – surfaced? What is God bringing to your attention, and why?

Anthony’s Facebook word-association challenge revealed that, generally, men are far more negative about their fathers than women are. The experience of a nun working in a men’s prison correlates: the inmates all wanted to send cards to their mums on Mother’s Day; none of them wanted to send cards to their dads on Father’s Day. Do you think your findings would be similar if you conducted a survey amongst your friends or co-workers? Why, or why not?

For the church to step into the world’s crisis of fatherlessness and recreate a sense of family, we need to reclaim the biblical doctrine of adoption: God’s own Son came to earth and gave up His place, so we could be welcomed into His Father’s family. Do you identify more as a son of God or a servant of God? Why?

In Matthew 7:9–11, Jesus makes the point that even imperfect parents generally try to love their kids well. When children come asking for something they want or need, parents won’t give them something useless, cruel, or harmful. By implication, how much more will our Heavenly Father pour out His kindness on us? Did you feel heard growing up? Do you feel you were given a stone or a snake when you needed bread or fish? How do you ensure that your own kids know that they’re safe and that you’re taking them seriously?

A. W. Tozer wrote, ‘What comes to our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us… Were we able to extract from any man a complete answer to the question, “What comes to mind when you think about God?”, we might predict with certainty the spiritual future of that man.’ What are the first three adjectives that come to mind when you think about God? What three adjectives do you think God would use to describe you? Do you ever feel as if God is ashamed of you, angry with you, disappointed in you, or indifferent to you? If so, why?

Jesus said, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind’ (Matthew 22:37). He doesn’t just invite us to love God. He commands us to love God. What makes it possible for you to obey God’s command to love Him? In contrast, what kind of God would you find it impossible to love?

Jesus’ Father is your Father too, and He’s a Father who never sleeps, watching you unblinkingly and with perfect, matchless love. Do you think God approves of everything you do? Why, or why not? Do you think it’s possible to do something that will make God think less of you?

John explains his relationship with his Heavenly Father by saying, ‘See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!’ (1 John 3:1). The word for see in the original language is a command, not a suggestion, and it means stop and really look until you discern and perceive this. What would God have to do to make you believe He loves you? If you were out with colleagues after work and someone started asking you questions about your faith, how would you explain the privilege and proximity of your position as God’s child?

Anthony says, ‘Changing how you see God changes how you see yourself – and everything and everybody.’ Is this an exaggeration? Why, or why not?

God’s love for us is an out-of-this-world love – incomparable to any earthly love. His agape love for us is greater than our sin and greater than anything else that threatens to come between us and Him. Because of this love, we’re not just God’s friends or servants – we’re His beloved sons. Is it difficult for you to let yourself be loved like this? If so, why? Share some of the ways in which God has lavished His personal, sacrificial, unrestricted, unconditional love on you.

BIBLE EXPLORATION
The psalmist marvels, ‘When I look at the night sky and see the work of Your fingers – the moon and the stars you set in place – what are mere mortals that You should think about them, human beings that You should care for them? Yet You made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honour’ (Psalm 8:3–5). Considering your size, relative to the cosmos, discuss whether God’s love for you is rational and deserved.

Read Psalm 103:13. In our culture, women or mothers are perceived to be more compassionate than men or fathers. Where does this perception come from? What could fathers in our society do to change the stereotype?

When Jesus was baptized, God the Father declared over Him, ‘You are My Son, whom I love; with You I am well pleased’ (Mark 1:11). At this point in His earthly life, had Jesus preached a sermon, performed a miracle, or raised anyone from the dead? Is God’s love for His children related to their performance?  

Read Matthew 23:9. What is the context of Jesus’ words in the broader passage? Do you think Jesus is being literal, or making a point about the surpassing authority of God? How do Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 8:6 further substantiate the point Jesus is making in Matthew 23?

LAST WORD
Your Heavenly Father has given, continues to give, and will keep on giving you His love. He paints His love for you across the sky with every sunrise and sunset, and He whispers it from the pages of scripture. Whether your earthly dad was fantastic or abusive or a no-show, you can know today that you’re adopted: drawn into the family of the Father through the sacrifice of His Son and your Saviour, Jesus. Accepting this makes you the man you were made to be.

DEEPER WALK
Read: Meditate on John 10:28–30. Who or what distracts you from God, trying to ‘snatch you from His hand’? What do these verses reveal about the power of God’s love and the intensity of His feelings for you?

Write: What do you wish you could say to your dad? Or what do you wish you had said to him before he passed away? Don’t let regret eat away at you. Rather, write down everything you long to communicate – even if you simply want to ask why or say thank you. As you journal, entrust your thoughts, words, feelings, and experiences to God.

Pray: Set an alarm on your phone for midday every day this week and pray for the fathers, young and old, in your community. Ask God to empower them with extraordinary wisdom and unconditional love for those they are called to father.